Motivation Articles, Essays, Tips and Advice

I was in Washington, D.C., enjoying a latte at the world’s favorite coffee spot (Starbucks) and having a fascinating conversation with a friend of mine, Lana Kim, who is a political refugee from Russia. She was telling me about her latest endeavor, writing a book. When I asked her why she hadn’t done it sooner she said, “I lacked confidence. I didn’t believe that I could do it.”

I put my grande chi latte down and listened as she revealed her story. Recognizing brilliance when I hear it, I knew I wanted to share her journey with you. I realized I wouldn’t be able to do her story justice, so I asked Lana Kim to tell you in her own words. Let me introduce you to Lana Kim, a true Brillianaire (a person who has learned to release his or her brilliance and abundantly shares it with others).

I have struggled nearly 35 years to have confidence, a gleam of hope, a belief that I could be somebody and make my life count for something. Do I have confidence today? Do I believe in myself? Sometimes I do. Other times it’s there but MIA (missing in action).

My confidence was under attack from the time I was a child. I was teased by children in class, in school, and in the neighborhood. Kids called me “Chinese.” I used to scream back at them that I was not Chinese; I was Russian like them. I wanted to be like everyone else. I am a third-generation Korean born and raised in Russia. My grandmother’s parents immigrated to the Island of Sakhalin to Czarist Russia between 1890 and 1899. The older I get, the more proud I am of my heritage because it was the foundation for becoming a confident human being who has grown over time.

When I came to America, I was a cleaning girl. I was 23 years old. Ten years later I was inducted into the “Hall of Fame” as a young stockbroker at PaineWebber. I owe this award to my dear friend and mentor, Don Culp. Don was an option trader on the floor of the Pacific Stock Exchange. Don Culp put through the order for my first stock trade, helped me build portfolios, explained how to analyze stocks, and left notes to cheer me up when times were tough. Today I have a number of designations including CFP (Certified Financial Planner) and RFC (Registered Financial Consultant), and I am completing a Master of Science in Financial Services.

What I’ve learned is that confidence grows with you one day at a time, one encounter at a time. I work every day to boost my confidence by reading motivational books, listening to tapes, making new friends, and volunteering.

Thank you, Lana Kim, for Releasing Your Brilliance because you have now given others permission to recapture, reignite and re-enlist their confidence.

According to my dictionary of etymology, the word confidence first appeared around 1400 and is directly related to the Latin word confidentia which means “to fully trust and be bold.”

When you fully trust yourself, you develop thick skin and the ability to bounce back. When you are full of confidence in who you are and what you do, bold action is your personal stamp.

Confidence is needed in abundance but unfortunately often runs in short supply. Antonyms for confidence are insecurity, self-doubt and diffidence (which means hesitancy). Bruce Jett said it best when he said, “You can determine how confident people are by listening to what they don’t say about themselves.”
Confidence is the voice that says, “I can, I shall, I will…live life to the fullest extent.”

Confidence is living out loud. Confidence is the ability to walk in the opposite direction instead of following popular opinion. Confidence is your swagger. Confidence establishes your brand within the corporate mega-brand. Confidence is quiet power. When you know what you know, you don’t have to impress anyone. You understand how to just be.

Why would Microsoft make a bid to buy Yahoo? Confidence. Why would Richard Branson launch an airline called Virgin America? Confidence. Why would Cynthia Good launch Pink Magazine www.pinkmagazine.com), one of the most talked about brand sensations targeting women in corporate America? It’s confidence, my friend. Confidence is what enabled Eli Manning and the New York Giants of the National Football League to rise above the noise and the doubters to win the 2008 Super Bowl.

Here are five actionable steps you can take to increase your confidence:

1. Create a Strategic Life Plan with 90-day milestones that you regularly review with your personal board of directors. Your plan should take into consideration your dreams, hopes and desires.

2. Find mentors who build you up rather than attempting to make you be more like them.

3. Feed your belief and faith in a brilliant future and starve your doubts to death. How? By reading inspiring literature that expands your mind and enlarges your heart.

4. Redesign your job description to reflect how you intend to add value to your team and your organization instead of waiting for management to come to you.

5. Invest in Meditate on Your Brilliance, a two-ebook set that will show you how to combine the proven power of meditation and positive affirmations to reignite your life and brilliantly shine at work. To learn more about it go here.

I love this quote by Joe Paterno, head football coach at Penn State University: “You need to play with supreme confidence or else you’ll lose again, and then losing becomes a habit.” My brilliance corollary to that is, “Live life with bold confidence or else you’ll defeat yourself again, and then self-defeat bcomes a habit.”
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Simon T. Bailey inspires individuals to take charge of change and transform their lives from the inside out. A thought leader and fresh voice in the businesses world, Bailey connects the dots between individual and organizational brilliance. He challenges and teaches businesses and organizations to clear obstacles to brilliance in their cultures, processes, and people, thereby achieving higher levels of engagement, retention, and productivity – and a brilliant bottom line. Visit him at www.SimonTBailey.com

* One thought I would add — remember that we gain confidence each time we experience a sense of achievement on something. Even if it’s just on a small level starting out. The point is you’ve got to be willing to start — even if it is just the tiniest of forward movement to begin with — going forward your confidence will build. Notice how in the story example above how with each accomplishment her list of achievements grew, and grew more impressive… It’s your life, LIVE BIG! Josh Hinds

** Any thoughts you’d like to add to the important topic of confidence?

Have you ever had something taken away from you only to realize how much you appreciated it after it was gone?

I often ask this question when I start one of my talks or seminars on appreciation. As I pause and wait for people to respond, many hands go up.

Most of us have taken someone or something for granted. We only truly realized how much that person or situation meant to us after the fact.

For example, at the age of twenty three my professional baseball career ended abruptly when I blew out my pitching arm.  I was in my third season in the minor leagues with the Kansas City Royals, and just like that my childhood dream was over.

I realized looking back on my eighteen years in competitive baseball that I had only one major regret; I pushed myself so hard that I’d forgotten to enjoy the game. I was so focused on “making it” and on overcoming my weaknesses, I had not taken much time to appreciate what I was doing along the way.

We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t like, what we’re worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced.  We live in a culture obsessed with “bad stuff.”  Just turn on the news, listen to the conversations and negative attitudes of the people around you, or pay attention to the thoughts in your own head.

The Power of Appreciation in Your Life

What if we stopped this negative obsession and started paying attention to what and whom we appreciate, right now?

Imagine how this simple but profound shift could transform our lives, our families, our relationships, our results, our work groups, our communities, and more.  Our experience is a function of what we focus on.  Each and every moment we have a choice about where we place our attention.

I am not advocating that we deny, avoid, or run from the challenges, issues, or even the pain in our lives or around us.  It’s important that we’re able to confront, face, and deal with these difficulties.  However, we don’t have to obsess about the bad stuff and let it run us.  We each can consciously choose to focus on the good stuff in our lives, with others, and most importantly towards ourselves.

There are great things happening in your life and around you all the time - if you choose to look for them.

Five Principles for Living a Life Filled With Appreciation:

1) Be Grateful – Focus on the many blessings in your life and all that you have to be thankful for.

2) Choose Positive Thoughts and Feelings – Make a conscious decision to transform your negative thoughts and feelings into ones that empower you.

3) Use Positive Words – Pay attention to the words you use with others, about things, and in speaking about yourself.  Speak with the most positive words possible. Our words have the power to create, not just describe.

4) Acknowledge Others – Focus on what you appreciate about the people around you and let them know.  Be genuine and let others know the positive impact they have on you and your life.

5) Appreciate Yourself – Celebrate who you are, what you do, and the many gifts and talents you have.  Self-appreciation is not arrogance; it’s an awareness of your own power and the key to self-confidence, success, and fulfillment.

When we truly focus on this good stuff, our world transforms and we are able to see and experience the great fullness of our lives.

We don’t have to wait until everything is handled. We don’t have to wait until we get it all perfect. And, we don’t have to wait for people to do things exactly as we want them to.  We can start appreciating life, others, and ourselves exactly as we are, right now.

Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late!
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Mike Robbins is a an author, personal growth expert, and sought after keynote speaker who empowers individuals, organizations, and groups of all kinds to appreciate themselves and each other - thus leading to greater success, improved relationships, and increased fulfillment. Experience the positive impact of appreciation on yourself and those around you with this free preview of Mike’s bestselling book, FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF: The Power of Appreciation.

* Thoughts or comments? Perhaps you have some ways you’d like to share that you go about keeping a “focus on the good stuff” in your life?