Is the pursuit to “having it all” no better than chasing after a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Is it a sadistic and diabolical story perpetuated by the self-help industry? Or does the desire for living the ultimate life rise up from a kind of primordial yearning that’s embedded deep in your DNA; egging you on because you know that while it is elusive, it is also possible?
The biggest scam in human history is the belief that you could have-it-all if you only had enough time, money, talent, good looks, and education.
While these things certainly couldn’t hurt, on their own they won’t help you create your ideal version of your life.
Nope, there are only two things that you need to really manifest your heart’s desire, to live the life you want, and to having it all. And it’s so obvious you’d trip over it…
Drum roll please…
1. Have a clear idea about what you want.
2. Have a clear idea about who you want to be.
It’s obvious, I know, yet ask anyone, “What do you want?” and they’re likely to shrug their shoulders and say, “I don’t know.”
Ask them, “Well, who do you want to be?” and they’ll knit their eyebrows together in confusion.
Knowing what you want can be tricky.
The fact is, is that most people haven’t known what they’ve wanted since they were six years old.
Sure they may have a vague idea of wanting a new car, home, business, or spouse but when pinned down it’s very difficult for them to describe in vivid detail what they want.
Why?
Because we are so caught up in what we think we should want that most of us have lost touch with what’s most important to us.
But what if you know what you want, but you still aren’t getting it?
Let’s say you have a very clear idea of what you want. You’ve tried everything but your ideal life hasn’t materialized for you.
This happens for two reasons:
1. You are doing the same things expecting different results.
2. You are not making decisions that support your vision.
I’ll explain…
Positive thinking and visioning are not enough for your ideal life to materialize. You have to take action and make decisions that support what you want, even when it’s frightening.
This requires that you make a commitment to change…
Take a hard look at the programs, modes of thinking, speaking, and doing that aren’t working for you, throw them away, and adopt new programs, modes of thinking, speaking, and doing.
This also requires that you risk failing at something new…
…and rather than go back to doing what used to work for you, you make adjustments and continue moving forward.
Having-it-all isn’t a destination, it’s an ever unfolding process of becoming more of the person you want to be.
This process will be fun at times but it will also be grueling, because the older you get the more difficult learning and doing something new becomes.
Need clarity on what you want and who you want to be? Try this exercise:
1. Pretend that you could not fail no matter what and write down exactly what you want in one or two sentences.
2. Who do you want to be and how do you want to feel? If you’re not sure then just finish these sentences…
a. “I want to be the person who has the confidence to…
b. “I want to be the person who when conflict arises I ….”
c. “I want to be the person who at a business meeting…”
d. “I want to be the person who is financially…”
e. “I want to be the person who is able to laugh when…”
f. “I want to be the person who has the compassion to…”
3. Change all of the above statements to “I am.” So for example, “I am the person who has the confidence to…”
4. Each week identify one habit that does not support your vision of what you want and who you want to be and do the opposite. For example, if it is your habit to be disengaged at meetings, make a conscious decision to speak first, or ask to lead the meeting.
I look forward to hearing from you. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Yours in Success.
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Krista Magidson is Chief Content Creator for Boutique Marketing Group and has been teaching people how to enrich their lives with guided meditation, visualization, relaxation, and mindfulness techniques since 2001. To learn more visit BoutiqueMarketingGroup.com and KristaMagidson.com.
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