How can you learn positive things from your enemies?
* First of all, they are brutally honest with you because they have no interest in sugar coating things to remain in your good graces.
* Second, you are important to them; sometimes even more important than their friends because most of your enemies will value themselves by the amount of envy you have for them.
* Third, there is no person in this world that doesn’t have something positive to give you.
Now let’s see the 10 teachings:
1.Evaluate yourself by your own standards.
Not everybody likes you no matter how hard you try. Therefore, it is counterproductive to live your life only to please others; please yourself. Self-esteem is a way of being and not something that you have or don’t have.
2. Rejection is momentary so don’t carry it with you more than 20 seconds.
Regroup, find a different way of getting what you want and move on. Rejection is not a failure; it is only a response and when you don’t like the response change the question or the person you are asking.
3. Accepting people as they are, brings you more happiness and joy than being right.
The need of being and proving that you are right is the end of your positive communication. Knowing how to communicate effectively with your enemies makes you a master communicator with those you love or any other people.
4. Learn more about how other people see you.
Your enemies are picking on your weakness and fear your strengths. They are like a cartoonist drawing your caricature, emphasizing what is different about you and leaving in the shadows what is common.
Pay attention, knowing how other people see you it is just a tool to make yourself more desirable in society and not the measure of your value and worth.
5. Being a leader in life starts with leading by example.
People, in general, are good people and have good intentions. However, being good and having good intentions mean nothing if people don’t know how to act and behave to put in practice those positive traits they have. Lead by example; show people how they can be good, and how to materialize their good intentions.
Enemies or friends, most people given the chance, the opportunity and the knowledge, will choose to be and do good rather than evil.
6. If the stove burned you once, don’t put your hand on it again.
Trust is a wonderful feeling. Trusting someone gives you pleasure and peace. Don’t deprive yourself of this amazing feeling. When it comes to your enemies, trust them! Trust that they will do, exactly as they’ve done in the past.
7. Positive thinking.
If you are not born with a positive orientated thinking, then you must learn how to do it, and your enemies are the perfect ground for practice. What this means is that challenging yourself to notice, pay attention and see the positive side of people and things will change your thinking toward positive. What better challenge other than searching for the positive part of your enemies?!
8. Improve your power to stay calm.
As in the case of positive thinking, your enemies are the perfect ground to practice your patience and calm. They are your best opportunity not only to practice but also to see the results, to have an objective feedback.
9. People are changing through time.
How different are you today compared to how you were 5 years ago? Or 10 years ago?
We are all evolving. We are keeping the essence of who we are, but we change views, opinions, tastes, friends, enemies.
Allow yourself and others to change. Just because one of your enemies had an opinion that contradicted your values and morals 10 years ago doesn’t mean that, today, they can’t hold a different view.
Do you have a friend from preschool insisting that you like apples and not oranges because this is what you’ve told him/her back then? They will stalk you with the apple to your grave even though you detest apples now. How dare you to change your mind?!
10. Free yourself from judgment.
Exercising compassion, empathy, understanding, and sympathy for your enemies give you the chances and knowledge of how to treat yourself better, how to apply all these things to yourself and those you love as well.
Now, if you have an enemy with whom you want to stop the animosity, give them a call and say: “Hello, I want to thank you for the lessons I’ve got from you. I wish to you all the best!”
Carmen Jacob’s mission is to help people achieve harmony in their personal and professional life. She is the creator of the ultimate guide about “How to stay focused on your goals“.