The cliche of the 21st century is the word “success”. While this word didn’t assume wider usage in the present century, getting the attributes of it has eluded many sending the weak-hearted to their early grave. The promise of a nice estate, booming Business Empire, splash cars, great vacations, and bounded respect within one’s community and quality education for one’s protege are all promises of success. And it takes persons with guts to attain success of any kind.
Know that: success starts with knowing when to say “NO” and “YES”. I call this “TRUTH” while it’s generally called assertiveness. What I know is that: I have met many people who have been afraid of the word “NO” – sometimes to their great discomfort. They replace every “NO” answer with “YES”. Sometimes in situations that demanded “NO”, these persons will “YES” them. Can you help me accomplish this task? “YES” when their schedule does not permit them. Such persons by that act demonstrate low level of confidence and diminishing self-esteem – both attributes needed on the superhighway of accomplishment.
They seemed inferior in the presence of others. Note that: All the persons around you expect some level of honesty in their relationship with you. They will be “hurt” (I don’t know why) when you tell them the truth but overtime they will begin to appreciate you. Your value and uniqueness will sink into them deep enough to be respected. It’s said that, “truth hurts” but I don’t subscribe to that crap. Truth doesn’t hurt. It pays to be honest to the people around you. They deserve that. This level of assertiveness is important for success. The reason being that: our true essence is heightened when we become assertive without giving in to the false-self (ego).
Know what you want:
It is not every request and demand in life that require a “yes” response from us more especially when you know it is not possible. Some persons have had to juggle between several competing ideas and end up buried with little achievement to show for it. Assertiveness is preceded by “knowing what one wants”. I have had to fight myself out of this addiction that is more cancerous than drug addiction. I always felt saying NO would make others disappointed in me. So in situations I had to give a “NO” response, I always gave a “YES” answer.
It took a lot of practice and great deal of confidence before I could come to terms with myself. Well today, I will say “No” to you when I know saying “Yes” will jeopardize my schedule in a particular time. Man is presented with many requests with each one of them begging either for a “No” or a “Yes” response. Certain requests sometimes deserve a “No” response however worthy they may sound. It’s easy to be overridden by others when you are that man or woman who finds it difficult to say “No”. Self-confidence and heightened self-esteem should give birth to assertiveness which will yield the success your life needs.
Why would anyone at all be hurt when you speak the truth? I have ruined some of my most precious relationships thanks to this attitude. Little did I know that I was dealing myself a terrible blow with every “YES” I said. There are many others out there who are in my former predicament. They would want to get out of this but they feel incapable of doing this. Well what I’ll say is this; “Get out of there”. Is this enough?
The magic is not in the way I said, “Get out of there”, but rather it lies in your response to what I said. For this I know: if you don’t “get out of there” you will end up ruining all your relationships precious to you like I did. You will later be labeled “untruthful”, “unfaithful” and “unreliable” by even your trusted companions. Please be you. You can’t be anybody else and will never be. Oscar Wilde said that, “Be your-self. Everyone else is already taken”. Hmm that’s for you. Never settle for the cramp on the floor. Don’t please others to displease you. You need self-love for success. Remain focus for the journey.
See failure as Success masquerading:
Another twist to this phenomenon is that, in life you don’t have to stop trying because that company keeps on rejecting your applications; that lady keeps on rejecting your proposal of marriage or you keep on failing in a particular endeavor. It’s said that, behind every failure is the opportunity ladder to the realm of success. Often times, the problem comes from the way we see that thing called “failure”. Some perceive failure as a demon that comes to haunt and usher them into abject poverty. Well you need not do that anymore.
Failure is neither scary nor dangerous as you once thought. If you want to get one particular result and you later end up getting a different one why get disappointed? The other result you had only means that, there’s another alternative to what you desire. Failure only serves to remind us that, there’s another alternative to whatever we want in life. You call the other result “failure”. Well I call it “motivator”. So you see you don’t have to give up trying because you keep on failing. Just keep on pushing and pressing on. Everything in life is worth trying and within one’s reach.
You’re a champion.
Kwabena Brako-Powers is an Author who sees the world of possibility inside every soul on earth. According to him, whatever we can imagine we’ll receive provided we emit the right vibration and frequency. He was born in Accra, Ghana – West Africa. He’s a Motivational Speaker, and Management Consultant.