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Consider The Source By Bob Burg When I was in college, some 20-25 years ago, I was in a very public position. As you know, whether in college or the "real world", anyone in "public" is subject to opinions that are not always complimentary. Back in those days, I was not the wwi-type guy I am now :-). I was also a lot more prone to taking this type of criticism personally than I am now (although, this is something I continue to work on) and I'd often complain to my close friends/roomates Bruce and Joe about this "unfair treatment." At the time, Bruce was president of the college's student government association and Joe was senate chair. One thing I really admired about them was that they both didn't seem to mind at all any criticism that would come their way. I found that quite fascinating, because it surely bothered me! When I'd moan about the situation, Joe used to simply say, "Bob, consider the source!" In other words, before getting upset about what was said, determine if this person was particularly worthy of becoming upset about (quick note: Yes, every human being is worthy and worthwhile - this is meant solely in the sense of how much weight we should give their criticism). Actually, considering the source of your feedback, critique, criticism is a good idea, and at both ends of the spectrum. When receiving disturbing criticism, if the source has said similar things that were nonsensical or irrelevant, we can pretty much "chalk it up" to that same pattern and not pay it a whole lot of attention. (Unless, of course, he or she has a valid point.) On the other hand, what if the source; the person criticizing, is an intelligent, clear-thinking individual? And, what if you've previously agreed with some of their other criticisms, albeit toward other targets? Now, we might want to "consider the source" in a different way... as someone to whom (or to whose comments) we should pay attention. Not that we have to agree, but perhaps we should at least give some very serious thought looking at the situation from his or her mindset as well as ours. The sages tell us that the wise person is one who learns from all others. Thus, when criticized, we can learn from that person in one of two ways. If they are the type of source whose opinion is not generally worth taking personally, then learn how to practice...not taking it personally. If, on the other hand, what they say makes sense, learn how to correct your actions for the benefit of all concerned. Previously I've reviewed "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, whose terrific book had a brilliant chapter entitled, "Don't take anything personally." To this day, when I find myself doing such, I grab the book and reread that chapter. Hey, we never stop learning... from everyone! Have an awesome Winning Without Intimidation day! Bob Burg _____________ Bob Burg speaks on "Endless Referrals" and "Positive Persuasion." He is author of "Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales" and "Winning Without Intimidation: The Art of Positive Persuasion." Visit him at www.burg.com
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