Posted 5/20/2007 by Josh Hinds

Building Unshakable Self-Confidence
By Brian Tracy

The Greatest Obstacle to Success ...
The fear of failure is the single greatest obstacle to success in adult life. Taken to its extreme, we become totally pre-occupied with not making a mistake, with seeking for security above all other considerations.

The experience of the fear of failure is in the words of "I can't", "I can't." We feel it in the front of the body, starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this fear in the bladder and in the irresistible need to run to the bathroom.

The Fear of Rejection Holds You Back ...
The second major fear that interferes with performance and inhibits expression, is the fear of rejection. We learn this when our parents make their love conditional upon our behavior. If we do what pleases them, they give us love and approval. If we do something they don't like, they withdraw their love and approval-which we interpret as rejection.

The Roots of Type A Behavior ...
As adults, people raised with conditional love become preoccupied with the opinions of others. Many men develop Type A behavior which is characterized by hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some undetermined high standard. This is expressed in the attitude of "I have to," I have to," and is associated with the feeling that "I have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss" who has become a surrogate parent.

The Most Common Trap ...
More than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection. They are caught in the trap of feeling, "I can't," but "I have to," "I have to," but "I can't."

The Key to Peak Performance ...
The antidote to these fears is the development of courage, character and self-esteem. The opposite of fear is actually love, self-love and self-respect. Acting with courage in a fearful situation is simply a technique that boosts our regard for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and lose their ability to effect our behavior and our decisions.

Action Exercises:
Here are two things you can do to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence and overcome your fears.

First, realize and accept that you can do anything you put your mind to. Repeat the words, "I can do it! I can do it!" whenever you feel afraid for any reason.

Second, continually think of yourself as a valuable and important person and remember that temporary failure is the way you learn how to succeed.
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Brian Tracy is one of the world's leading authorities on personal and business success. His fast-moving talks and seminars are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that you can apply immediately to get better results in every area. Visit the Brian Tracy web site.

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Posted 5/16/2007 by Josh Hinds

Dreamers Like Us
by Jenna Forrest

Every year about 2,000 new self-help books are published. You'd think that with all that information, the world would be one hundred percent "helped." Instead, we find ourselves drowning in great information wondering why something's still missing. I think I read ninety books in my twenties, but not much was changing. I had big dreams. And I could list the names of people who took risks for their dreams. I thought I was one of them. Then came Mount Everest.

Everest is my metaphor for a seemingly suicidal challenge. See, the only way I could finance publishing my book was to sell my house and rent for a year, living off the investment income from the sale of the house -- a huge risk. I didn't know a thing about investing and I loved my house. But I had to write this book. To me, it was the challenge of all challenges. I was petrified, but I wanted to be like the people I admired who took risks for their dreams. They knew that getting geared up for a "big climb" wasn't going to get them to the peak. They knew they had to get out there and get going. So I followed their example. "If someone else can do it, I can too," I thought.

As I signed the sale papers on my house, I remembered how some people I've talked to think that Everest climbers are stupid people. I wondered if I was a stupid person too, selling my wonderful house. Then I remembered a documentary I once watched where Mount Everest climbers were interviewed. Their common sentiment was that they actually felt so called to reach the peak that they actually didn't have a choice. They repeatedly said things like "it was my passion" or "there was this inner call I just had to listen to." I wondered, "Don't the world's most advanced spiritual, civic and business leaders have very similar attitudes? What keeps them focused and climbing in life while others sit tight in the gear shop all suited up for "someday"? What separates the crazy dreamers from the real life leaders?"

One year later, I have a book published and a new house of my own. I climbed Everest as far as I'm concerned. I took the risk. I took action. I hated it sometimes, because it was hard, but it also felt really good. And now the reward is greater than the sacrifice. Suppose in your life, you have your very own inner call, your personal Mount Everest. At its pristine peak you might envision your own business, or being a great parent, or going to Tahiti for a winter, or forgiving a spouse, or writing a book. Its nagging sensation is always calling you. You feel it is your purpose for living. Life has left you geared up with information and experience and now all you have to do is trust and climb.

We all have to begin our passionate climb at the daunting foot of the mountain, were the noise of the outer "real world" is so loud that it threatens to drown out our passions and motivations to try something new. Because our inner voices get drowned out by the chitter chatter of everyone around us, we can begin to believe that we're stuck, that we'll never be able to forgive our spouse, or that we'll never earn enough money running our own business. We hear our friends say that people who believe in something beyond what seems practical are dreamers. We learn to roll our eyes at the dreamers and we focus on their failures. Our feelings of fear and dismissal are reinforced by the rumors of tragedy that swell after a person who attempts to climb his mountain slips and falls and lands at our feet. Seeing people tumble from their mountain reinforces our beliefs that the climb is not worthwhile.

Some people never leave the distractions of the mountain base we are born into, but many of us choose to live a life in action, daring to explore paths upward. There are countless paths to choose from -- steep, smooth, rugged, crumbly, serene, sturdy, shaded, sunny, narrow, wide, worn, overgrown. Any path will do, because they will all lead the brave climber closer to his or her summit. The paths each climber chooses result in lessons about life and inner reflections, like "What can I overcome?" "What is my life purpose?" and "What drives me further?"

If you are reading this now, you are likely one of the active ones, huffing and puffing your way uphill toward your own peak right this very moment, finding yourself surrounded more and more by believers and survivors - those who are strong of will and body and mind. You might already be rewarded with a better view of a world you couldn't see from down below.

Congratulations. On the switchbacks of your mountain, it's the places that you stop to look back on how far you've come that you witness the peaceful expression of your faithful efforts. It is thanking you for wanting more -- for trying so hard and for not giving in so easily. That's when you experience the silence, a stillness where you finally hear your heart speak. Clearly. And whether you realize it or not, this is the peak -- its the place that warriors strive to experience. This is what being human really means - standing in awe, wondering why we resisted listening to our selves for so long.
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Jenna is the Author of Help Is On Its Way - A True Story. She can be contacted online at: JennaForrest.com.

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