Posted 1/19/2006 by Josh Hinds

High Jumping
By Brad Yates

Imagine, just for a moment, that you love track and field…particularly the high jump event…

Imagine that you’ve shelled out big bucks to sit right in front of the high jump at the Olympics…

Imagine that Javier Sotomayor, world record holder, is preparing to jump an 8.5 foot high bar…

He begins his approach, and…

Stops in front of the bar and starts complaining about how high it is!

“This is too hard! I can’t do this! I’m going home.”

What would you think…?

You’d probably think he had no right to complain. After all, he’s the one who got himself to this level of competition. And he chose this event – he didn’t have to be a high jumper.

Guess what…you are choosing your life.

Yup – we create our lives, and the challenges that come with it. So, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to complain about it.

If Javier attempted the jump, but didn’t clear it, we could forgive him. (Unless you had money on the event…) We’d applaud him for his effort, and still be impressed with what he had managed up to this point. And, we’d know there is always tomorrow.

What about when you hit the bar? Do you feel like a failure? You haven’t failed until you quit. There may be a limited number of attempts in a sporting event, but not in life. The bar may have been set too high – but better too high than too low.

What if Javier came out and successfully completed his jump… but the bar was only set at 2 feet high…?

You might be left with, “I paid good money to watch this…?!?”

What would you think if Javier insisted that he had only signed on to do the 2 foot hop, and also expected a huge endorsement contract for his achievement…?

How often do you look at what’s showing up in front of you and start complaining, insisting that you only wanted to do the 2 foot hop?

Now, it is also true that we don’t really want to see the bar set at 15 feet high - such that we are anticipating something astounding – only to watch Javier clear the bar … by going under it…! In the high jump, the bar is raised in increments of only a few centimeters from the last successful jump. It is not unreasonable for you to do the same.

Whatever the height of the bar in front of you – that’s what you signed up for. There were no guarantees that you would clear it the first time out – or ever. But part of you decided that was the challenge you needed.

Of course, it might not have been a healthy part of you. There may be some part of you that feels a need to fail – to be punished.

Either way, there is a gift in what is in front of you.

You run, you jump, and… either you succeed, or you learn. It’s win/win.

The lesson may be that you need to work on your technique. You may need to improve your training regimen, or your diet, or your coach.

The lesson may be that you’ve come as far as you can in this event, and there is another event where you will be more successful.

It may be that you learn that you never cared for the high jump, and only did it because your parents wanted you to do so – and with this understanding you can heal the past and find your own way.

And…well, there are plenty of ways to interpret the lessons – some more healthy than others. Choose the one that leaves you empowered to move forward, rather than the one that leaves you beating up on yourself.

We enjoy watching events where people give us their best. It’s not just in sports. No one wants to watch Robert DeNiro “phone in” his performance. No one goes to the ballet to watch the Baryshnikov jump in the air and spin just once.

So, why are we so surprised when we’ve set the bar higher for ourselves in this lifetime? Why are we shocked that we didn’t choose monotony?

And, if monotony is what we have, we tend to complain about that, too. It’s a sure sign we haven’t raised the bar high enough for ourselves.

Some people are never happy unless they are complaining. Don’t be one of them.

You chose to be here for the excitement – you signed on for the whole shebang. So…

Imagine that you are at the Olympics, preparing to do the high jump…

You chose the event, you chose the height, and the crowd is eagerly awaiting your attempt…

Be grateful for the opportunity, give it your best shot, and you are sure to be a winner.
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Brad Yates, C.Ht. specializes in cutting-edge mind/body techniques for the enhancement of motivation and the removal of internal roadblocks to success - making the journey easier, quicker and more enjoyable. Check out his eTappings program available here.

Posted 1/17/2006 by Josh Hinds

"Inner Voice."
By Julie Clark Robinson

"Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live." - Margaret Fuller

It's the inner voice that's going to do me in. Not the trans fats. Not talking on my cell while driving. Not the pesticides on my beloved cherry tomatoes. It'll be the inner voice. For instance, I am a fairly productive person and I realize that I deserve a break here and there. In fact, I wrote the book on it, so to speak.

The message of my radio interviews, speaking engagements and book (Live in the Moment) is one and the same: to help people learn how to cut themselves a break and create their own pockets of joy, every single day. But even as I try to live up to my own mantra, my inner voice nags at me.

"Hot tea with lemon? Are you nuts? Grab a bottle of water, that'll do."
"You can not take the time to plug in your aromatherapy machine and rest your eyes right now."
"Just do your own pedicure this time, no one will notice."

It's not that my inner voice hasn't read my book. The problem with inner voices, I now realize, is that they speak the same language as our outer voices. And in my case, it's the voice of a born and bred American. Who knew that the home of the free and the brave is also considered by many to be the home of the overworked and under indulged?

I certainly didn't. At least, not until I was flipping through the TV channels recently. The show that caught my attention was about the relaxed lifestyles of other civilized cultures. As I flipped away during commercials, one of the first things that became apparent to me was that other cultures do things like siesta and linger…we flip. So I put down my remote and lingered over one program for a change. (Dare I fantasize that there's a drop or two of blood running through my veins that's from somewhere other than Ohio?)

The people interviewed from Mexico couldn't believe how hard Americans work. They, along with Kuwaitis, take two-hour lunches. People in Malaysia consider their bi-weekly massages a necessity, and not only do the French toil only 35 hours a week, they enjoy five weeks of paid vacation every year.

And, as if all this wasn't enough to put a sock in the mouth of my inner voice, I learned that while we tend to reserve massive shopping, the quest for beauty and lingering over many-coursed meals for the holidays, other cultures consider these things to be worthy on a regular basis.

Imagine that! The very things that my inner voice shakes its finger at me for even considering are a prerequisite for a healthy lifestyle in many countries. I like that. From now on, I refuse to consider myself indulgent or selfish over slowing down and enjoying such necessary things as a nap or a massage. I prefer to think of myself as el Phénomène De Santé (translation: Health Freak).
My inner voice is just going to have to deal.

Sensory Exercise: Indulge your sense of smell with your absolute favorite scented shampoo or shower gel - every single morning. (If you don't have one, head out to the most expensive bath & body store you can think of and let your nose have a mardi gras of its own.) Instead of just enjoying the smell every morning, let it be your reminder that Americans are too hard on themselves. Live a little!
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Julie Clark Robinson is the author of Live in the Moment a fresh, funny and blatantly honest book about creating one's own daily joy. Visit her site at www.JulieClarkRobinson.com.

Posted 1/09/2006 by Josh Hinds

A Legend in Your Own Mind
by Jim Rohrbach

You can't become a legend in your own time until you first become a legend in your own mind.

"Picture yourself in a boat on a river … " — The Beatles

It's that time of year again — New Year's resolutions, goal setting, and updating your mission statement. However, this year make sure you graduate from random daydreaming about life to visualizing. In everything from sports to business, effective visualization is often the thing that separates the best from the wannabes.

Visualization is the ability to mentally rehearse successful outcomes in a relaxed state before they actually happen. All great athletes, from golfers to hoopsters to Olympians, practice visualization as part of their training regimen as well as when competing. For example, have you ever watched an NBA game on TV when one of the players is shooting a free throw?

You'll notice on a close-up shot that most every player has a little ritual he performs before tossing the ball up — he bounces the ball a certain number of times, takes a deep breath, and then looks up at the basket in a trancelike state. You may even see him move his lips as if to mumble some words to himself just before shooting. Then, hopefully, a swish. He is coached on this technique to improve his performance at the freethrow stripe. And this same technique can work for you in your business or career.

But before I get going, let me address a possible concern you might have — a reluctance to embrace becoming "a legend in your own mind." I'm not suggesting you become arrogant, egotistical, self-absorbed, or narcissistic — I like to believe I'm none of these. I consider myself just another kid from the neighborhood — I graduated from a Chicago public high school with a 1.74 GPA … I was definitely not knocking the ball out of the park academically. What I do believe about myself is that I am actually "nobody special" doing something very special with each of my clients. And I visualize this every single morning.

Now you may have experimented with some form of mental rehearsal in the past, perhaps with mixed results, so you might be feeling some resistance. Perhaps you doubt that you can even do it — "I can't ever seem to SEE anything when I try this!" If this is the case, let me gently correct your thinking — you're ALREADY using visualization — you're visualizing "FOOD" three times a day, right? That'd be breakfast, lunch, and dinner — tell me you never dream of that juicy steak you're gonna have for dinner that has your mouth watering at 2 p.m. The truth is, most people put more effort into picturing what they're gonna have for these three daily meals than they ever put into picturing success.

Also, you may have a concern that going into a relaxed state might be a black-magic meditation for some wacky new age religion or brain-washing cult. No — you don't have to shave your head, chant a mantra all day long, or send me all of your money (although my bank account would love it …).

Let me share with you my simple way of visualizing. Follow along with the process below — it should take you no longer than 10 minutes. ( I recommend you keep it short and sweet in the beginning so you don't feel the burden of yet another task on your "to do" list):

Put Yourself in a Relaxed Seated Position

Sit upright in a comfortable chair, on a sofa, or on the floor. (I do not recommend you lie down, as the desired state is conscious relaxation, not sleep.)

Close Your Eyes and Take Several Steady, Slow Deep Breaths

Four or five should do it — perhaps count to seven for each inhale and exhale. Then just relax and breathe normally through your nose.

Notice Any Distracting Thoughts or Sounds, but Let Them Pass By

Since the desired mental state is focused concentration, you'll need to ignore distractions. This may be the hardest part at first, which you'll overcome with practice.

Bring to Mind an Important Goal and
Picture Yourself Going Through the
Process of Perfectly Achieving It

This is where the rubber meets the road in visualization — you want to create a mental experience of having already "been there, done that." Some examples:

* If you're in sales, envision a picture of you and your prospects agreeing to do business together, that they're eager to get started with your product or service and are handing you a large check. Make sure you see the amount on their check written clearly, whether it's $1,000, $10,000, $100,000, or more.

* If you're a business leader, see your people excited about your new marketing proposal you've presented at a company meeting and eager to carry it out.

* In your personal life, picture your relationship with your spouse as happier, more fulfilling, more fun. See the two of you enjoying yourselves at play, having deeper conversations, laughing together, etc.

* Likewise, see your body in the best shape ever — your ideal weight, trim and fit. Draw forth images of bulging muscles and toned abs or holding that challenging yoga pose. When you make visualization a daily habit, you'll stay mentally on track to achieve any goal you'd like.

This habit will then help you to follow through on your goals, as you'll have already "experienced" the results and the feelings associated with making things happen for yourself. You will start to have the feeling that you've been there before, as in the words of that great yogi, Yogi Berra: "It's like déjà vu all over again." You'll become a legend in your own mind, on your way to becoming a legend in your own time.
___________
Success Skills Coach Jim Rohrbach, "The Personal Fitness Trainer for Your Business," coaches business owners, entrepreneurs and sales professionals on growing their clientele. He has helped hundreds of individuals to achieve their goals since he developed his first coaching program in 1982. You can visit Jim on the web at http://www.SuccessSkills.com

Posted 1/05/2006 by Josh Hinds

The Billionaire’s Strategy for Success
By Brian Tracy

John Paul Getty became the richest man in the world by practicing a few basic principles of risk-taking and reward throughout his life. In this newsletter, you learn his key insight to risk reduction and success and how you can apply it to any decision you have to make. You learn a series of additional ideas that can help you to make better decisions and reduce the risks associated with success.

The Billionaire’s Strategy for Success
Remember Murphy’s Law: “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.” There are several secondary laws to Murphy’s Law, such as “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible time” and “Of all the things that can go wrong, the most expensive thing will go wrong at the worst possible time.”

Another sublaw is “Everything takes longer than your best calculation.” In advising businesspeople, I suggest that they take their very best estimate of break-even for any business venture and then triple it to arrive at a more realistic number. Whenever businesspeople follow this advice, they are amazed to find that, in spite of their best initial calculations, it indeed takes about three times longer than they thought it would to start making money.

Always Add A Fudge Factor
Another sublaw is “Everything costs more than you can possibly anticipate in advance.” In minimizing risk in any venture, always add a “fudge factor” to account for the degree of uncertainty. Whenever I do a business plan, I always add 20 percent to the total of all costs that I can identify, to come up with the probable cost. Anything less than this, whether in business or your personal life, is likely to be an exercise in self-delusion and open you up for some unhappy surprises.

Once you have identified the worst possible things that could go wrong, make a list of everything that you could do to offset these negative factors. Engage in what is called “crisis anticipation.” Look down the road, into the future, and imagine every possible crisis that could arise as the result of changing external circumstances.

Be Intensely Realistic
Men and women who have achieved a high level of success are intensely realistic. They do not put their trust in luck. They carefully calculate every possible risk, and then think about what they would do should it occur. They always have a backup plan in case things do not go as they wish them to. They have a “Plan B” and options to that plan that take all kinds of variables into consideration.

Do The Things You Fear
One of the very best ways to develop your ability to take intelligent risks is to consciously and deliberately do the things you fear, one step at a time.

A very good way to overcome the fear of risk taking is to set clear, written, measurable goals for yourself, and then to review those goals regularly.

When you have clear goals and plans, and you continually work on them and evaluate your progress each day, you will see what you’re doing right and how you could improve your performance. You’ll feel more competent and capable and better about yourself. You’ll become more thoughtful and reflective and willing to take on even greater challenges. You’ll feel like the “master of your fate and the captain of your soul.” And your likelihood of success will become greater and greater.

Action Exercises:
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, take any worry situation in your life today and ask, “What is the worst possible thing that could happen?” Then go to work to make sure it doesn’t occur.

Second, look into the future in your life and determine the worst things that could happen. Engage in “crisis anticipation” regularly and continually be taking steps to guard against them.

Third, work from clear, written goals and detailed plans. Review them regularly. Consider alternatives and always look for ways to increase the likelihood of your success.
___________
Brian Tracy is one of the world's leading authorities on personal and business success. His fast-moving talks and seminars are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that you can apply immediately to get better results in every area. Visit the Brian Tracy web site now.

Posted 1/03/2006 by Josh Hinds

REMARKABLE RESILIENCY SKILLS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY: Adding Life to Your Years…and Years to Your Life! - Part 4
By Jack N. Singer, Ph.D.

This article is the fourth installment in a series of articles written for visitors to www.GetMotivation.com, directed at showing you how to master the stresses in your life---permanently!

Recall from the last installment that the #1 culprit in causing any attitude--and for that matter, any stress-- is your internal dialogue. What you say to yourself about events that take place in your life has been programmed into your subconscious, initially by well-meaning parents, teachers, and other authority figures. A large percentage of that programming was negative, with warnings that you should not take risks, do not try to push the envelope of your abilities, stay in your "safety zone," etc. Often, those directives went so far as to suggest that you were the wrong sex, the wrong race, not smart enough, etc. to follow your dream. This planted "weeds" in the beautiful garden of your subconscious. Accordingly, "flowers" of contentment, self-esteem, self-confidence and optimism had little room to grow and flourish in that garden.

Continuing this metaphor, we then proceed to unconsciously "water and fertilize" those weeds by repeating similar thoughts to ourselves thousands and thousands of times, reinforcing those self-defeating beliefs. For example, we tell ourselves we are lucky to be in our relationships or in our career positions and we must put up with the downsides of those situations. We fear making changes, because we tell ourselves that our present situation is better than the unknown and "what if I make a mistake?"

As a result, many of us remain in devastating relationships and unfulfilling/demanding jobs, or we allow spouses, friends, colleagues and supervisors to "fertilize those weeds" with their own hostile, inappropriate, demanding and/or negative comments and behavior toward us. We fear asserting ourselves because of that programmed internal critic. For example, when unfair demands are made and you have the choice of being assertive and standing up for yourself, you fall back on habitual, negative thoughts, such as, "I don't have the right to challenge him because he is my boss"...or "My spouse will really get mad if I tell him that his demands and the way he talks to me are inappropriate"...or "I'm sure that my friend won't like me if I decline to do what she is asking of me."

SEVEN SUREFIRE STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS OVER STRESS

SET REALISTIC GOALS
Much research shows that when you set attainable, healthy goals and write them down, you will stay focused have a high probability of accomplishing them. Put these goals into your computer to flash reminders to you on a regular basis. Visualize attaining these goals each night as you fall asleep and you will maximize your ability to achieve them!

USE THE POWER OF POSITIVE SELF-TALK
The best way to eradicate those "weeds" that fill the "garden" of your subconscious mind is to practice telling yourself positive, self-enhancing thoughts every time you catch yourself being negative. Regardless of the years of negative programming that you have reinforced, no one needs to be a prisoner of her/his past. You can re-program your subconscious by recognizing your negative, self-defeating thinking patterns (see the last installment) and changing them on the spot. The more you catch yourself and change those thoughts to positive, more rational ones, the sooner you will eradicate those weeds. Try it, you'll see!

CHOOSE AN OPTIMISTIC INTERPRETATION OF EVENTS
Martin Seligman, in his wonderful book, "Learned Optimism,"gives endless examples of the stress management and physical health consequences of finding a silver lining in every dark cloud that comes your way. When you view unfortunate events in your life as temporary and not permanent indicators of a weakness, you can continually ward off the stress of life events. More importantly, an optimistic interpretation of events has been shown to lead to remission of disease and the generation of T-cells, which are critical components of our immune systems! The key here is choice. You always have the choice in how you will see a situation and deal with it. You see, as someone once said, “You can find yourself in the middle of nowhere…or, in the middle of nowhere, YOU can find yourself!”

CHANGE YOUR DIET AND EXERCISE HABITS
Caffeine is known to increase anxiety. Blueberries are known to enhance brain power and memory. Aerobic exercise (e.g., rapid walking, swimming, jogging, tennis, etc.) produces hormones that counteract stress hormones in our bodies. So, why not eliminate caffeine (coffee, tea, soda), add blueberries to your diet and increase exercise? Everyone can do these simple things. Of course, maintaining ideal weight and keeping fit also eliminate the negative self-talk and resultant stress that arises from looking into the mirror each morning!

EMBRACE OPPORTUNITIES FOR RELAXATION
So many of us fill our lives with work and parenting responsibilities, that there is no time is allotted for relaxation. One of the best stress busters is regular relaxation breaks. These can range from spontaneous mini-vacations (e.g., weekends), to a relaxing walk in a serene place (e.g., the beach or near a babbling brook), to taking 15 minutes twice a day to meditate right in your office. There are many excellent relaxation tapes, yoga exercises, and visualization/hypnosis tapes on the market. The key to this is to make the time, be sure you will not be interrupted and stick to your plan. Recharging your emotional batteries is healthy and easy to do, as long as you take charge of yourself to allot the time and make relaxation part of your weekly routine.

STAY CLOSE TO POSITIVE PEOPLE AND INFLUENCES
Unfortunately, many of us are married to, related to, or work for negative, pessimistic people. These are folks who have their own fears of change, do not take risks, and wallow in their own misery. These members of the "negativity club" want you to join them, because that helps them to justify their own behavior and ideas.

After all, it would be difficult for a negative, pessimistic sibling, for example, to justify her/his behavior if you are a positive, optimistic person, who is thriving. This is similar to smokers discouraging others from quitting. So, be a "Teflon" person...let the comments of these folks bounce off you. Assert yourself and politely tell them to keep their negative opinions about you or your ideas to themselves. Find positive, optimistic, successful people to get close to, who will encourage you to move away from your habitual, "inside of the box" ideas. What a breath of fresh air that will feel like to you!

SEARCH FOR OPPORTUNITIES FOR FUN AND LAUGHTER
Ever since the arrival of Norman Cousins' groundbreaking book," Anatomy of an Illness," which was based on his firm conviction that LAUGHTER alone alleviated his pain and pushed his debilitating disease into permanent remission, a ton of research has shown the immense power of fun and laughter on both our emotions and our bodies. Sadly, the average youngster, age 6,laughs more than 100 times a day, while the average adult laughs about 15 times.

We now know that the primary antidote to stress is fun, laughter and engaging our sense of humor. Whether it is reading a joke book, watching a funny movie or sitcom, or using your creativity to lighten up your workplace, bringing fun into your life is immensely important for your health. Endorphins, which override stress hormones and produce a sense of release and calm, are released by the brain every time we laugh or engage in a fun activity. In fact, the immune system is impacted in a powerful way by fun and laughter.

Someone once said the "people don't stop laughing and having fun because they get old...they get old because they stop laughing and having fun!" So, by making sure that your life includes frequent episodes of laughing and looking at the funny side of events that take place in your life, and in the world...you will surely add life to your years and years to your life!
____________
Dr. Jack Singer is a practicing Clinical and Consulting Psychologist in Laguna Niguel, California. He is President of Psychologically Speaking, and provides keynote presentations, training programs, and re-TREATS for Fortune 1000 corporations, healthcare organizations and for a variety of associations across the U.S. Jack's passion is to simultaneously motivate, inspire and enhance everyone's lives by teaching them the secrets of resiliency and optimism. You can reach Jack at (800) 497-9880; Email: drjack@funspeaker.com Web: www.funspeaker.com.

Posted 1/03/2006 by Josh Hinds

REMARKABLE RESILIENCY SKILLS FOR THE UNCERTAIN TIMES: In the Aftermath of September 11th - Part 3
By Jack N. Singer, Ph.D.

This article is the third installment in a series of articles written for visitors to www.GetMotivation.com , directed at showing you how to master the stresses in your life---permanently!

Tragically, since that infamous September 11th day, this Country and the lives of all of us have changed, in some ways dramatically.

Recall from the last article that events in your life do not directly cause stress, or any other emotion, attitude or mood, for that matter. The emotion or attitude that results from an event is strictly caused by what you say to yourself about that event--your internal dialogue.

It seems odd to think that the events of September 11, 2001 did not, in and of themselves, cause stress, anxiety, fear, etc. We were all riveted to our TV's and those haunting images of the planes plummeting into the towers, the Pentagon and into the Pennsylvania countryside will remain imprinted in our memories. But, our emotional reactions to those horrific events and those that followed (i.e., airport security issues, the War, the anthrax and smallpox fears, etc.) are all caused by our internal dialogue regarding those events.

In the last segment, I pointed out that many of us have been "programmed" by years of negative thinking (and by listening to negative people), to immediately assume that the "sky is falling" as soon as a frightening events take place. Certainly the events of 9/11 triggered these unfortunate thinking habits in many of us. These are the people who are having particular difficulty going about their lives in a "normal fashion." These are the folks who will not fly, are particularly vigilant regarding their mail and people who "look like" Arabs or Moslems.

Again, the events of 9/11 did not cause this anxiety and fear. It is the internal dialogue which one engages that causes the stress reaction. Saying to yourself, "If I take that vacation and fly to the East Coast, I'm sure there will be a hijacker on the plane," obviously leads to fear and the best way to deal with that fear is to avoid the situation.

Whether it is a hijacker we fear or the unrealistic expectations of a CEO or client, the culprit here is always that negative, internal dialogue that we allow to control our lives. So, how do we overcome years of others planting "weeds" in the "garden" of our subconscious thoughts? And how do we stop watering and fertilizing those weeds ourselves?

STEP 1. BECOME AWARE OF YOUR THINKING PATTERNS

Whenever you catch yourself feeling badly (i.e., depressed, irritable, worried, etc.), you need to immediately jot down several thoughts that went through your mind just prior to recognizing those feelings. For example, if you are irritable, you may have just said to yourself, "These clients must think that I have no other clients and all of my time is reserved for them."

Below are five of the most common distorted thinking patterns that we use on a regular basis, but are not aware of unless we pay attention to them:

All or nothing thinking. We look at what is happening around us in "black or white" categories, and tend to look at ourselves as perfect or as failures. We fail to see the vast "grey area" in which most of life takes place. For example, you come to the office at 6 AM and don't leave until 8 PM, because you tell yourself, "I'd better finish all of my work each day or I'll feel like I'm failing."

Mind reading. This common distortion involves assuming what other people are thinking, and normally these assumptions are negative. These thoughts involve beliefs about what other people are thinking. For example, the thought, "My spouse does not appreciate the difficulties of my job," may be an accurate thought. However, more often than not, this thought is not based on any real evidence we have, but instead, our internal critic is taking over. As you can imagine, if you continue to operate with such a belief, you invite yourself to feel angry and irritable.

Catastrophizing or Fortune Telling. In this frequently used distortion, we develop an entire scenario in our minds, based on what we believe will happen and the end result is negative. A clue to this distortion is beginning a thought with "What if..." For example, if you are asked by a client to give a formal presentation to their planning committee, you might say to yourself, "What if I get really nervous speaking in front of these demanding people?" These thoughts will guarantee that you will be constantly on edge and anxious leading up to the event and during the presentation. Such negative self-fulfilling prophecies are very common, but we cause this prophecy by catastrophic thinking.

Overgeneralization. This is the case in which your internal critic uses words, such as "always,""never," and "every." For example, "I will never be able to lose weight." You can see how such a thought will lead to the self-fulfilling prophecy to make sure that you will not be able to accomplish the task.

Should Statements. How many times do you tell yourself what you should have done, what you must do, or what you should know? You act as if (other than your religious beliefs and the laws of the Country) there is a magic list of behaviors that we should or must do or shouldn't do. You punish yourself mercilessly because you made a mistake or you put extreme demands on yourself, with what you must do. Can you see how such distorted thinking can lead to stress, lowered self-esteem and guilt feelings?

The events of 9/11 will be etched on our memories forever. But the way we continue to think about those events will determine how we feel, emotionally and even physically. Once you are aware of the particular thinking distortion patterns that you use habitually, you are then in the powerful position to do something about that thinking...and thus, modify your moods and feelings substantially!

Watch for the final installment, where I will describe the final steps for changing your thinking patterns and seven powerful tips for avoiding any stressor that may come your way. These proven methods will improve your health, reduce your stress levels, and dramatically enhance your quality of life!
____________
Dr. Jack Singer is a practicing Clinical and Consulting Psychologist in Laguna Niguel, California. He is President of Psychologically Speaking, and provides keynote presentations, training programs, and re-TREATS for Fortune 1000 corporations, healthcare organizations and for a variety of associations across the U.S. Jack's passion is to simultaneously motivate, inspire and enhance everyone's lives by teaching them the secrets of resiliency and optimism. You can reach Jack at (800) 497-9880; Email: drjack@funspeaker.com Web: www.funspeaker.com.

Posted 1/03/2006 by Josh Hinds

REMARKABLE RESILIENCY SKILLS FOR UNCERTAIN TIMES - Part 2
By Jack N. Singer, Ph.D.

This article is the second installment in a series of articles written for visitors to www.GetMotivation.com, directed at showing you how to master the stresses in your life---permanently!

Recall from the first installment that symptoms of stress include a whole host of symptoms, including irritability, impatience, difficulty concentrating or sleeping, procrastinating, wondering what meaning your life has, frequent use of sarcasm and a short fuse.

Also recall that events in your life do not directly cause stress, or any other emotion, attitude or mood, for that matter. The emotion or attitude that results from an event is strictly caused by what you say to yourself about that event--your internal dialogue.

Unfortunately, most of us have been pre-programmed to think negatively the majority of the time. Well-meaning parents, teachers, uncles, aunts and even siblings (who actually may not have been so well-meaning) have filled us with negative conditioning about how we're not smart enough, pretty enough, athletic enough...or how we are the wrong sex, race, religion, etc., so we shouldn't try to accomplish or achieve our dreams.

Research shows that the average youngster in this country has been given such negative programming 148,000 times by the time he/she reaches 18, versus only 4000 or so positives during that same time frame...(positives like, "Go for it," "You can do anything you set your mind to do," and "You are as smart, handsome, gifted, athletic, etc. as the next person.")

Negative programming has kept us from taking risks, trusting our abilities, or thinking "outside of the box." "Safety" for most of us lies in repeating old, self-defeating habits, rather than "risking" changes in our habits. This is why approximately 77% of our self-talk is negative and why we develop fears of change, taking risks, and losing everything. We constantly worry about what others think about us, and often lose our self-confidence and self-esteem. Incidentally, it typically takes the body 24 hours to recover from only 5 minutes of negative self-talk because each negative thought is instantly converted chemically to affect all of our internal organs and even our immune system.

So, if 77% of our self-talk is negative, and the body takes a full 24 hours to recover from only 5 minutes of that internal critic, imagine the physical and mental pounding we are creating every day.

But, don't get discouraged. The good news is that no matter how unfortunate your history, no matter how much you have had negative people pounding warnings and their own fears into your brain, and no matter how many times you inadvertently reinforced those unfortunate habits yourself through your own self-defeating, fear-producing internal dialogue...it can all be overcome and you can live a much healthier, more productive and (for the most part) worry and stress-free life!

In other words, despite the fact that others have planted weeds in the garden of your subconscious mind and despite years of you habitually watering and fertilizing those weeds, you always have the opportunity to pluck them out of that beautiful garden, never to return!

YOUR THOUGHTS, STRESS & YOUR HEALTH

You and I are much more likely to suffer an ulcer or have irritable bowel syndrome, or high blood pressure than a is gazelle on the African Plains. That's because the gazelle's nervous system is brilliantly adapted for handling life and death emergencies, such as a lion springing out of the brush and giving chase to it. That nervous system switches on immediately, digestion stops, blood leaves the internal organs to gorge the large muscles of the legs to produce maximum speed and efficiency, blood pressure increases rapidly to deal with the demands for blood in the brain and external organs, sugar pours into the blood stream for quick bursts of energy, and adrenalin is released so that the gazelle is completely alert and focused on escape and ultimate survival.

If everything goes as planned (assuming the gazelle is not injured, weak or sick), it escapes, its' nervous system quickly returns to a relaxed state and the gazelle goes on with the business of grazing, playing, reproducing, etc....no reason for an ulcer or stress-producing physical disorder developing here.

As humans we rarely (thankfully) are faced with someone trying to kill us. We don't have to stalk and wrestle down our food. We don't have to run for our lives. But the way we interpret everyday events...from traffic jams, to inconsiderate clients, to workload pressure, to our teenagers' behaviors...leads to that same nervous system clicking on countless times every day! The gazelle never has to worry about these things...we humans invented these worries and we have allowed them to dominate our lives.

In our self-talk we use stress producing phrases, like, "What if the CEO is angry at me when he comes in?"or "I can never please my partner..." or "I can't let him get away with that...he needs to know who is in charge here!" Such thoughts never go through the gazelle's mind, but these are the thoughts that we humans allow to go unchecked in our minds. So for our nervous systems, each of these thoughts sets off a chain reaction very similar to that which happens in the gazelle running for its life. Except for us, these thoughts occur hundreds of times a week and so we are constantly switching on and off this vital nervous system.

If your blood pressure rises to 180/120 when someone points a gun at you, that is being adaptive...but if it rises to 180/120 in congested traffic, at the bank where a clerk is slow, and each time partners give you conflicting orders...you could be heading for a major health disaster!

Besides blood pressure-related cardiac problems, think about the potential physiological consequences of blood leaving the digestive tract every time you worry yourself, of sugar pouring into your bloodstream over and over because you are angry about your teen's behavior, adrenalin being released every time you try to please folks who can't be pleased...these events all have physiological consequences, from ulcers...to heart failure...to gastritis and irritable bowel...to diabetes...to insomnia.

Internal medicine specialists and family practice physicians estimate that at least 65% of their patients actually do not have an underlying medical condition causing their symptoms! It is stress related factors (caused by the self-talk you use every day) which causes the bulk of our medical symptoms! And since most physicians do not have (or choose not to spend) the time to ask you about your life, how you interpret various situations, how you deal with events, etc., they simply treat your symptoms (usually with drugs), while the root cause is untouched and continues to fester. Not only has "stress" overtaken the common cold in terms of prevalence, but stress is involved in 8 of the 10 most frequent causes of death in Americans!

Stay tuned for the next installment, where I will explain what you can do to change your thinking habits, and therefore your health and stress levels for the rest of your life!
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Dr. Jack Singer is a practicing Clinical and Consulting Psychologist in Laguna Niguel, California. He is President of Psychologically Speaking, and provides keynote presentations, training programs, and re-TREATS for Fortune 1000 corporations, healthcare organizations and for a variety of associations across the U.S. Jack's passion is to simultaneously motivate, inspire and enhance everyone's lives by teaching them the secrets of resiliency and optimism. You can reach Jack at (800) 497-9880; Email: drjack@funspeaker.com Web: www.funspeaker.com.

Posted 1/03/2006 by Josh Hinds

REMARKABLE RESILIENCY SKILLS FOR THE UNCERTAIN TIMES - Part 1
By Jack N. Singer, Ph.D.

This article is the first installment in a series of articles written for visitors to www.GetMotivation.com , directed at showing you how to master the stresses in your life---permanently!

You find yourself getting increasingly irritable, impatient, having difficulty concentrating or sleeping, procrastinating, wondering what meaning your life has, or you are being accused of acting cold and distant, displaying sarcasm and a short fuse. All of these behaviors and attitudes are symptoms of stress.

"Stress" is such an overused term, yet in our competitive and impatient culture, and with chaos rampant around the globe, examples of stress are with us constantly. Hundreds of billions of dollars are spent annually for stress-related medical insurance claims, workers compensation benefits, reduced productivity, poor product quality, spillover into marital and family problems, and even drug and alcohol abuse, which is often a desperate attempt at coping with the stress. Stress has surpassed the common cold as the most prevalent health problem in America!

For most of us, work challenges, managing our teens, and pleasing our spouses represent daily stressors. But events, per se, being confronted by a disgruntled employee, your teen missing curfew, or an argument with your spouse, never cause your stress!

EVENTS ARE NEUTRAL

Your feelings of stress, including all of the symptoms mentioned above, are never caused by events that take place in your life...events are neutral! For example, let's assume that I am booked to conduct an opening keynote, speech for a major conference in Miami. Attendees have flown in from all over the country for this conference. Five minutes before I am to board my plane, my flight is cancelled due to inclement weather in Chicago. There are no flights going into Chicago and it will not be possible to arrive in time for my program. While one might consider this situation to be "stressful," it is actually a neutral event. The situation or event does not cause stress!

If I find myself irritated at the airline representative, or I begin to perspire and feel a tightening across my chest...these are stress symptoms, but the are not due to the event of having my flight cancelled. Events do not directly cause stress, or any other emotion, attitude or mood, for that matter.

The emotion or attitude that results from event is strictly caused by your interpretation of, or belief about the event. In effect, it's that little voice in your head that communicates with you...your self-talk...that always determines how you react to events. We all have a little voice that we "listen to" constantly.

To continue my example, if I learn that the flight is cancelled (the event), I might say to myself: "Oh, that's just great...now I won't make the meeting, everyone is there expecting a rousing keynote, and the good folks at the conference will be so angry at me that they'll never hire me to conduct a program again."

Such a negative, self-defeating statement immediately activates the nervous system necessary to deal with life-threatening situations, and my body reacts accordingly. My blood pressure rises and my behavior may become irrational, such as yelling at the attendant, even though she can do nothing to change the flight situation.

On the other hand, suppose that when I learn that the flight is cancelled, I say to myself the following: "This is really unfortunate and I feel badly that I will not be there, but it is absolutely beyond my control. I will phone the meeting planner and the association executive director right away and see if they would like me to find a substitute speaker who is based in Miami...or if we can postpone my keynote until the last day of the Conference, when I will be able to make it...or, perhaps there is a way that I can do the keynote through a tele-conference tomorrow. That way, with the audience all situated in the meeting room, I can arrange to do the keynote by interactive television. I can even use this example with them when I discuss how self-talk always determines our emotional, attitudinal and behavioral responses to events!"

THE CULPRIT...YOUR INTERNAL CRITIC

The "culprit" in all of this is our internal critic...that voice within that spews out an average of 55,000 words per day, 77% of which are negative, self-defeating messages... messages like, "This CEO is difficult to deal with, so I will always have problems with him,"or "My son/daughter doesn't care if we worry when he misses curfew," or "My spouse never really listens to me."

The wisdom about how our inner thoughts and beliefs about events are critical to our well-being has been around for centuries. The Greek philosopher Epictetus said, "Men are disturbed not my things, but by the views which they take of them." In Hamlet, Shakespeare wrote, "There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

It takes the average human body a full 24 hours to fully recover from only five minutes of negative thinking! So, given approximately 77% of the thoughts being negative and counterproductive and the body taking 24 hours to recover from only five minutes of negative thinking, our bodies are taking a tremendous beating...just by our thought processes alone!

Just think. Suppose I open a casino and you love to gamble. If I told you that 77% of the time the house will win and every time you lose, it will take your body 24 hours to recover, would you consider coming to my casino and gambling? Of course not...yet many of us literally go through life programmed negatively so that we will not achieve our goals or live stress-free, or be happy. Of course , this is illogical, but as someone once so aptly put it, "If logic always prevailed, men would ride horses side-saddle!"

Please read the next installment, where I explain the relationship between your thoughts, stress level and your health. I’ll show you how to change your thinking habits for the rest of your life!
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Dr. Jack Singer is a practicing Clinical and Consulting Psychologist in Laguna Niguel, California. He is President of Psychologically Speaking, and provides keynote presentations, training programs, and re-TREATS for Fortune 1000 corporations, healthcare organizations and for a variety of associations across the U.S. Jack’s passion is to simultaneously motivate, inspire and enhance everyone’s lives by teaching them the secrets of resiliency and optimism. You can reach Jack at (800) 497-9880; Email: drjack@funspeaker.com Web: www.funspeaker.com.