Posted 6/20/2004 by Josh Hinds

Just a quick note to say I've added 4 new articles in the Articles library... They include: Live In The Solution by Vic Johnson, Class by Zig Ziglar, The Best Insurance Policy? A "Thank You In Advance" by Bob Burg, and The Real Reason Why You Can't Seem To Get Past Your Money Issues by Paul Bauer.

Keep in mind there are many others to choose from there as well... All the best, Josh Hinds :-)

Posted 6/06/2004 by Josh Hinds

Liberate yourself from the opinions and judgments of others
By Mark Victor Hansen

Are you constantly trying to maintain the peace in your office or home by making sure everyone is happy? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells everywhere you go, hoping no one will "start something"?

Are you afraid of ruffling feathers when you’re out with your friends, so you agree with whatever they say? If you said yes to any of these questions then you my friend are a people pleaser, or on the fast track to becoming one. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting everyone to be happy. Heck no! I want everyone to be happy 24 hours a day.

But I’m not willing to compromise who I am to make that happen. Sometimes you have to ruffle a few feathers – and that’s okay. You can’t be a "lesser" you just to make someone else happy. That’s not the way it works. Express yourself. Go ahead. But do it with love and a gentle voice. You’re not challenging anyone.

You’re just being your authentic self. When you stop saying "yes" to everyone and start expressing how you really feel, be prepared. The people you have only known the "suppressed" you are going to give you funny looks and you’ll probably hear "what’s gotten into you" quite a bit.

A few so-called friends may not ever speak to you again. But isn’t it better know who your true friends are?

ACTION STEP:

In closing I'd like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead: Do you have people in your life that you are constantly trying to please? Are these people who you look to for approval? Do they always have opinions about your life and what you’re doing wrong?

Normally, we all have at least one of these people in our lives. But why do people act negatively towards us when we try to better ourselves? It’s not usually out of spite. Most of the time these people are either insecure about themselves and their lives, or afraid that once we begin living our dreams they’ll be left behind.

So, how do you keep your mind and your focus on your goals when these people are around?

Well, the first step would be decide who you really want in your life – people who are going to support you or people who are going to bring you down. You are going to change your life and you don’t need any negative distractions. If those around you can’t listen and support you in your efforts, then they have no place in your life. Period.

If for some reason you cannot remove these people from your life, then you’ll have to decide not to discuss your life with them. If they ask you questions about what’s going on in your life tell them you’d rather not discuss it with them. Eventually they will stop asking and go away.

If they offer advice anyway, simply thank them for the advice and ignore them. Try this a few times and see what happens. Negativity only survives where it is allowed to feed – starve it and it will move on.
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Article submitted by Mark Victor Hansen - Co-Author of the Chicken Soup For The Soul series of books. For over 26 years, Mark Victor Hansen has focused solely on helping people in all walks of life reshape their personal vision of what's possible for themselves. Visit www.markvictorhansen.com for resources, secure shopping and web-only product specials, speaking schedule and current projects. Mark is also the co-author of "The One Minute Millionaire" book, click here for details on it.