Posted 5/31/2004 by Josh Hinds

Subtle Changes Can Enrich Your Life---Go For It!
by Sandy Karn

Be on the alert! Some of these things are so subtle they elude us. It’s the little things that make a big difference. To start becoming a change artist in your life, just do some change exercises like driving home from work a different way, or driving to town a different way. You could actually change your hairstyle. Wow, what a concept!!

Do your best to break patterns that are set in cement in your life. Create more flexibility anywhere you can. Remember, it’s about subtle. Just don’t overlook the smallest things that bother you that you are so used to you don’t even notice.

I have a friend going through a divorce and he said to me, you know, I never realized it but I don’t like grainy laundry soap. She absolutely insisted on it—wouldn’t have it any other way. No control issues here---right? Wrong!

To what extent are the things in our life that are not without struggle related to control issues? That’s another whole issue isn’t it? Well, you can at least throw that into the mix and see what comes out.

Anyway, I was shopping with this guy when he bought the liquid laundry soap. He said he never realized how he “really” felt about that. And you know, he won’t be buying powdered soap again and when he does laundry, it will be a more pleasant experience. Subtle isn’t it?

For just a moment, let’s go a little deeper here. Let’s look at the emotional body. Underneath every single thing that is not working for us there is an emotional body equivalent. All we have to do is figure it out.

So as not to make this too lengthy for your reading today, I’ll just give you one example and we’ll revisit this one another time. For me, the struggle all my life has been my body weight. I knew for years that it was more related to something else besides the food I ate. I had to get into the why, when and how I ate. I had to dig deeper into my emotional self.

No matter what I did, I just couldn’t get to a point of understanding. So it was very simple; I kept the weight on. Old saying: the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same old things and expect to get something different.

Anyway, for years, I studied my emotional body. I still couldn’t figure it out. Then one day, something clicked.

Someone said you owe it to yourself to “deeply” love yourself. I said to myself, “Self, that sounds like a plan to me!” I then started doing everything possible for “me”.

My business advisor bought me a Disney Pooh Bear shirt with Tigger on it that said “Me! Me! Me! I wear the shirt a lot as a reminder that it is all about me and it is up to me to change what needs to be changed in my life to live happier, healthier, more profitably and more peacefully. It all went back to deeper love. It was that simple in the final analysis.

So guess what--what I am doing is deeper love and in 3 months I have dropped 15 pounds. I consider that 15 pounds of love because it all starts with loving yourself RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE no matter what.

If you don’t do that, your emotional body will block your success to get your attention to help you through an understanding of what could be better for you. That’s the way it works! It’s another reason to not get upset when it is not working for you. It is all part of the process. Think about it. It’s all about you, you know. It’s never about them now is it?

Result: I am my number one priority. How about you? Where are your priorities?

Sandy Karn
Results Specialist
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Sandy Karn is president of her own company, Creative Results Sources, Inc., a consulting and training company of over 30 years. Take her Self Development Quiz!

Posted 5/25/2004 by Josh Hinds

The rewards and risks of personal freedom
By Charlie Badenhop

One of the first things I noticed about my newly purchased parrot, was that he couldn't fly. Chico's wings had been clipped and he was stuck here on earth just like us humans.

Once the weather turned nice I took Chico and sat him on a branch of a tree in my backyard, hoping to make him happier. At first he seemed confused. He walked back and forth on the branch looking like an agitated father pacing back and forth in the maternity waiting room.

I was surprised to see that he didn't flap his wings in an attempt to fly. Somehow he knew he was incapable. I always wondered how he knew such a thing.

One day, while sitting on his branch, Chico got way more agitated then he had been when I first took him outside months ago. He was pacing back and forth and talking up a storm. Then all of a sudden, he stopped pacing, let out a spine tingling scream, and started madly flapping his wings for the first time ever.

About three seconds later, he lifted off from the branch like the space shuttle at Cape Canaveral! I was amazed and shocked. Little did I know his feathers had been growing back in, and just like a sly convict, Chico had been biding his time until the moment was ripe for escape!

Chico made his break for freedom on a late Monday afternoon, and by late Monday night I knew he was not coming home. Finally, on Tuesday evening Chico returned, but stayed way out of reach. I talked to him and showed him some food, but to no avail. Then I took his cage inside so he would not relate coming back to getting locked up again. Finally, I made him a firm promise that if he did come back I would let him out every day the weather was nice. Shortly after making my solemn oath, he flew onto my shoulder and I took him upstairs.

From that day on, whenever the weather was good I would let him out early and he would fly around and be back before dark. This routine lasted for about two months and then suddenly Chico became ill. The vet said that he had contracted a disease from the pigeons in the neighborhood. Within a few days he died, and I mourned his loss.

Just once the thought crossed my mind that if I had not set him free to fly every day, he would still be alive. It was then that I realized that the quality of one's life is much more important than the number of years one lives. What sense is there in being a bird if you can't fly?

Chico made his initial break for freedom on a late Monday afternoon in April. When will you make yours? You too can take a chance when the conditions are right, knowing you too in your own way, were built to fly. If you don't set yourself free, what will be the purpose of your life?

I would suggest that the quality of one's life is dependant on feeling one's essence, and living the design that is you. If you are a fish, your life needs to be all about swimming. If you are a bird, your life needs to be all about flying and spreading your message to all that you meet along the way. What sense is there in being you, if you don't really let yourself free and express your heart?
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Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by subscribing to his complimentary newsletter "Pure heart, simple mind" at http://www.seishindo.org.

Posted 5/24/2004 by Josh Hinds

Do You Get Emotional?
By Jan Tincher

Do you talk too much, laugh too loudly, swear too quickly? Is it an emotion that is unsatisfactory to you?

This might be a tough question, but what do you think you are trying to accomplish when you do this?

Maybe you are trying to get attention, but you are just going about it in the wrong way. Or you are trying to get the emotion out of you, but you are just going about it in the wrong way. Or you are trying to be a *good guy or gal*, but you are just going about it in the wrong way.

These are just some suggestions. I’m sure you can come up with the answer that’s right for you.

When you have that figured out what you are trying to accomplish, come up with at least five possible expressions of this emotion that you can substitute for the one you’re not happy with. Expressions that accomplish what you want, but are easy to do in the right way. What emotion do you want to have? What are five ways you can pick from to express it?

EXAMPLE: Emotion: You are trying to get attention. Expression you don’t like: You talk too much.

One of five expressions you can use: You could stand back until you have something really intelligent to say. That would get their attention.

It might be tough to come up with five to pick from, but try really hard. One important thing you already know is that the reaction you’re having now isn’t working for you. When you have five alternatives for what you are trying to accomplish, continue.

For each alternative, run a *movie* in your mind where you see yourself feeling the emotion and expressing it in one of those ways.

After you’ve done that, decide which expression(s) will work the best for you. If none of them will accomplish what you want -- to get attention, to get your emotion out, or be the *good guy/gal*, or whatever, then think about it again.

What emotion do you want to have? How do you want to express it? Run the movie for each one and see which works for you.

Now, go with the alternative(s) you’ve decided on, and replay the movie. Now is the time to refine your behavior and check to make sure that it will lead to the outcome you want.

Now, step into the movie, feel the emotion you want to have, and just imagine as well as you can how it will be to express it in this way the next time you need it.

Now, think about a time that might be coming up where you will probably experience that emotion. Imagine being in that situation, feeling the emotion, and expressing it as you want.

Do this for other situations that might come up. Make minor adjustments in your behavior, so that you feel right.

If you find that there are times when your new form of expression isn’t going to work, run through this again, with a different format. Ask yourself these two questions. What emotion do you want to have? How do you want to express it? Run the movie. Keep tweaking the movie until it comes out exactly as you like.

Now, you are going to be prepared for the situation, your response/emotion will be appropriate.

I hope this helps in your growth. Just keep remembering: You’re never as bad as you think you are, and you can be better than you think you are.

Just keep going. Life is to be lived, not feared. Also, if you keep thinking the way you are already thinking, you’ll stay the way you are. So if you don’t want that, start visualizing new and different things happening in your life -- then watch for them to actually happen.

TIP: If you would like more strategies on a regular basis that will help you live the life you want, go here.

Copyright 2003, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide
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Do you like learning techniques? Do you want more strategies that help you live the life you want? Would you like to learn special times to use them? Go here.

Posted 5/17/2004 by Josh Hinds

Optimum Health
By John Assaraf

Okay, today's topic deals directly with your health.

I was just asked to write a story for an upcoming book about how I stay in shape while juggling a career, kids, and all the other activities that daily life entails. Being healthy is a very big part of my life and so it is a priority. I must tell you that it wasn't always that way.

You see, when I was 21 years old I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. For those of you who don't know what that is, let me briefly explain. With this type of colitis, you develop ulcers in your colon, and at the same time your colon swells so that there is very little room for anything to pass through. Sometimes the ulcers get really bad and they start to bleed. Trust me, this is NOT fun.

Fortunately for me, I studied the disease and through a regimen of proper eating, exercise and visualization, I eliminated the pain that colitis brings on.

It was at this early age in my life that I decided to seriously learn about my health and about my body. What I found out was that this piece of equipment we live in is a marvel of creation. I became fascinated with what caused our body and mind to be healthy and what caused it to be sick.

When someone is ill, they are in a state of DIS-EASE. When the body and mind is healthy it is AT-EASE. Through proper nutrition, attitude and exercise we can all have an abundance of mental and physical strength.

After my bout with colitis I became very well versed in what the cause and effect of my choices meant and how it affected my health.

One of the things I always keep in the back of my mind is the quality of the life I want when I reach 50, 60, and 70. Today I am 41 and I already notice the changes my body has gone through in the last few years. I often play a little mental game that I want you to play right now.

Think of your physical body right now. As far as your health is concerned, how would you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10? How does it look? What is your body fat percentage compared to what it should be? What is your energy level like? Do not compare your body to anyone else, just rate it based on your age and how it would look and how you could feel if you really focused on it.

Ok, I know that some people who are reading this are pleased right now and some are not.

This is not intended to do anything other than to get you to be aware of your past choices.

Next, I want you to project what 10 years of taking care of your body, the way you are right now, will do to it. Are you pleased with what you see or is it time to consider a different plan?

If you are not pleased with your answer, ask yourself a question. What has to happen in order for me to do something about it?

The next question is this... Am I interested in being healthier or am I committed to being healthier?

What's the difference you ask?

If you are interested, you will do what's convenient. If on the other hand you are committed - you will do whatever it takes.

Please understand that the 'Optimum Performance Report' is meant to get you to think about the various facets of your life, and maybe teach you a few tricks that will help you enjoy the journey a little bit more.

If you are totally pleased with your physical self, I salute you. If you are not, please reconsider some of the choices you have made and do not prolong getting optimally healthy for one more day.

Start immediately on your plan and take action. You will feel so good!

Remember,

Create a Great Day!
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John Assaraf, aka "The Street Kid", shares the exact principles and step-by-step system he used to get free from the street gangs of his youth, to become a multi-millionaire entrepreneur before age 30 in his new book "The Street Kid's Guide to Having it All". FREE reports and newsletter available by clicking here!

Posted 5/10/2004 by Josh Hinds

Find Your Balance
By Helaine Iris
© 2004

The other day I was introducing myself to a group of busy professionals. I told them I especially loved to work with women who feel they are overworked and have no life; and lack balance between their work life and their personal life.

As I was heading out the door to my next appointment a woman from the group stopped me and said she really wanted to work with me, and she could totally relate to being one of those out of balance women.

Neither of us had our calendars so she took my business card and promised to be in touch to set up an appointment. She seemed inspired about finding balance in her life and I was excited at the prospect of a new client.

Days later when I hadn't heard from this woman I began to wonder why she didn't call. She seemed so ready and enthusiastic. I casually mentioned it to a friend who reminded me that she was probably too busy and overwhelmed to even follow through with scheduling an appointment. It was clear evidence of how much she really needed some support. "Duh", I thought to myself.

Most of us are in the same boat, we all live in the same demanding culture… some of us work, some of us raise families; some of us do both. We juggle a million details, we manage the best we can and still barely have time to breathe. We often have to beg, borrow and steal for personal time. Can you relate to this?

Here's my bottom line. You have a CHOICE about how you want to live your life. Whether you work for a large company, own your own business or are a stay at home parent how you live your life is up to you. This might sound like a no brainer.

You know you have choice, but do you really feel like you have one?

I want to challenge you to take a step back and look at your life. Evaluate your priorities and ask yourself if you are living by choice OR by default? Is your life in balance? I believe the first step in restoring balance and living your life by choice is to acknowledge that you're not.

How do you achieve a balance between your life and your work?

First, identify the obstacles or excuses that keep you from changing anything. The most common excuse I hear is, "I'm TOO busy". Are you willing to break the "I'm too busy" excuse in order to have more balance in your life?

Second, set up some very simple structures in your life that will begin to make the difference.

Barbara was a woman in her forties with a family who was putting her heart and soul into her job. She liked her work. She was working a lot of hours and bringing work and worries home with her at night. When she began as my client she was nearly burned out and was considering leaving her job because she felt so out of balance.

Over several months we worked on a program to recreate balance in her life. By the time we were a month or two into it, she had fallen back in love with her job, and her husband and she told me she finally knew who she was and what she wanted from her life.

The following is the backbone of what Barbara and I worked on: 5 strategies to bring balance into your life. I'd invite you to play with them, perhaps take them on as homework and see if they bring you results.

1. You are number one. Contrary to what you're taught you have to take care of yourself first. You know when you are on a plane and the flight attendant gives you the briefing about what to do if oxygen is needed? You must put the mask on YOURSELF first before assisting others. What good can you be to anyone if you are in terrible shape yourself? So, the first order of business in creating balance is SELF CARE. Do you eat well, do you exercise regularly, and do you take vacations?

2. Get to know yourself. Answer the questions: Who am I? And what are my values and priorities? A good way to engage with these questions is through journaling. Get a special journal and begin a relationship with yourself. Light a candle; spend 5 minutes a day writing for you.

3. What are you currently tolerating? What sucks your energy and drains you? What are the annoying things that if you eliminated them would free up more time? It can be anything from a squeaky door that bothers you to not having office equipment working well to relationships that are draining or toxic. Make a list of these things and begin to handle them. Get them off your plate.

4. Develop a really good support system. Let's face it we all need support and sometimes it's hard to ask for help. Often times the difference between getting successful results or not depends on how well supported you are.

5. Nurture your spirit and your dreams. What lights you up? Is it nature, culture, great conversations with friends, your relationship to a higher power? Consider spending regular time every week with these things. This is the time that refills the well, so to speak. By paying attention to what inspires you, you begin to build a reserve of energy to draw from when you are stressed.

Play with these 5 strategies (even if you only can manage one or two, you will receive benefit) and see what starts to happen…

Creating work/life balance takes courage, commitment, willingness and support. When you incorporate these structures and strategies into your life you will get results.

Aren't YOU worth it?

It's YOUR life…imagine the possibilities!
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Helaine Iris is a Certified Life Coach She works with individuals, entrepreneurs, professionals, and leaders who want more out of life. People, who want to lead successful, balanced lives filled with love, passion and purpose. Are you ready to take a step that could change your life? For a complimentary session visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or email her at helaine@pathofpurpose.com

Posted 5/06/2004 by Josh Hinds

Plussing Your Income Sources for Phenomenal Wealth
By Mark Victor Hansen

J-O-B… to me this doesn’t spell "job," it’s an acronym for Just Over Broke. Putting all your hopes into your J-O-B is like building your perfect home in a garbage dump. You never know when a heap is going to shift and send your dreams plummeting into a smelly mess.

This is what people have done for generations: Find that one job, hold on tight and hope nothing too terrible happens. Does this sound like fun to you? It doesn’t to me either. What’s REALLY fun is discovering you don’t have to live this way. You don’t have to rely on that one job for all of your financial wants and needs.

You can create a new way of living. How? Through multiple streams of income. This is a term my friend Bob Allen coined and it is an amazing concept. Multiple streams of income is not about getting more than one job. Heck no – that would only wear you out and lower your quality of living.

Multiple streams of income is all about partnering with others and making money through their efforts. Let’s say you’re a lake. You have one stream of income, so you don’t have much to fill you up financially. Your water line is looking pretty low since you have to rely on that one stream to replenish you every few weeks. But if you have multiple streams coming in all of the time, your banks would be overflowing.

If one stream is just trickling for a while, the others will pick up the slack. There will never be a lack of income. That’s what I want you to do. I want you to create multiple streams of income to insure your financial prosperity. How do you begin?

THIS WEEK’S ACTION STEP

Multiple streams of income are easy to find. In fact, they’re all around you. You just have to pay attention to your daily life and who and what comes into it. Take one of my multiple streams, for example. Years ago my friend Jack Canfield and I were having a casual conversation. Soon we were talking about creating a book filled with inspirational stories to touch the hearts of people around the world.

We collected the stories, put the book together and came up with a great title. The rest is mega-bestseller history. But the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series and products are not my only source of income. I want you to create multiple income sources just like me.. There are so many possibilities to create wealth out there.

All you have to do is open your eyes and your mind to the possibilities. Take out a journal or notebook and number the lines 1 through 25. Then list possible streams of income you can create for yourself. Here are a couple of questions to get you started: Do you have friends or business colleagues that offer services? Would they offer finder’s fees to you for bringing them potential clients?

Can you conceptualize new ways to make already existing products or services better? Do you want to create a consulting business that allows you to work from home and set your own hours? Remember, life is too short to work hard for something you really don’t want.

I'll see you soon!
Mark Victor Hansen
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Article submitted by Mark Victor Hansen - Co-Author of the Chicken Soup For The Soul series of books. For over 26 years, Mark Victor Hansen has focused solely on helping people in all walks of life reshape their personal vision of what's possible for themselves. Visit http://www.markvictorhansen.com for resources, secure shopping and web-only product specials, speaking schedule and current projects. Mark is also the co-author of "The One Minute Millionaire" book.

Posted 5/05/2004 by Josh Hinds

How To Master The Art Of Getting Great Ideas
by Tom Hopkins

After achieving his first big success, Mickey Spillane, the famous writer of detective stories, felt that he needed to work less and play more for a while. So he settled in at a popular seaside resort that summer and began having a great time.

During the long lazy days of that summer at the beach, Mickey often sat down at his typewriter to work. But the ideas just wouldn't come to this gifted young writer. With plenty of money in the bank, Mickey wasn't worried. Each time, after trying to work for a few minutes, he'd give up and go back to enjoying himself. Somehow it didn't seem important that his bank balance was steadily shrinking.

Then some unplanned expenses came up and, overnight, Mickey's financial situation changed from comfortable to uncomfortable. Keenly aware that he needed to make money fast, Mickey was at his typewriter early the next morning. For the first time in months he had determination in his heart.

But this time he was worried. A whole summer without a single idea worth putting on paper! Had his writing skill been baked out on the beach? Within a few minutes Spillane knew the answer. Ideas—good, salable ideas were crowding into his mind. Under the goad of necessity he wrote one of his best stories, and then went on to the outstanding career that continues today.

How do you practice the art of getting great ideas? There are six requirements: want, need, exactness, preparation, belief, and execution.

WANT AND NEED

You won't get ideas unless you somehow tell your subconscious mind that you both need and really want ideas. The key word here is want. It's far more important to want ideas than to merely need them. Understanding this distinction is crucial. All constant losers, compulsive gamblers, and confirmed alcoholics desperately need new ideas to change their direction before it's too late. Since positive ideas are everywhere, why don't these people jump on some of them?

Because they don't want to stop doing what's hurting them; they don't want to pay the price of success; they don't want to face realities of living; they don't want to change.

EXACTNESS

You have to know the specific kind of solutions you want. Mickey Spillane thought of exciting scenes when he needed them because he knew exactly what he wanted—ideas for great detective stories. We all want ideas that will make us millions. Unfortunately, that's not specific enough to let the subconscious mind do its work. You can't pull important and specific ideas out of your subconscious mind until you've put important and specific problems in it.

PREPARATION

Nothing is free. Profitable innovation and effective imagination are no exception to this rule. Inventiveness and creativity aren't gifts that a lucky few use effortlessly—that notion is false. After you've paid the price, your imagination will soar and innovative ideas will flow from your brain.

The price for that result has to be paid with study, with experience-gaining work, and with alert thought. You create ideas by becoming specific in your thinking and thorough with your study of a subject that excites you. Success-building ideas come only to those who look for them vigorously and intelligently.

BELIEF

Your subconscious mind wants to be used; it wants to be controlled intelligently; it wants to help you grow and win and be happy. So it will go along with self-instructions that aren't true today in order to help you make them true tomorrow.

But it won't allow you to fool it forever. In the laborious process of creating ideas, your subconscious mind has to know that some of them will be used. Not necessarily all of them—or even most of them. But a few of them must be used. Otherwise the flow will eventually be choked off. The more ideas you use and benefit from, the more ideas you'll have and the better they'll be.

EXECUTION

The profit of great ideas comes when you turn them into reality. Get rid of the delusion that you can have a great idea and then get a mechanic to work out the details. The details are the invention. Unless you work out the details in a practical way, you can't control the profit that can be made from your great idea.

Pick a limited field to specialize in. Learn everything that's already known about that subject. Work in that field by taking the best job you can find in it rather than a better one elsewhere. Then start thinking every hour of every day about what can be done to improve performance in your specialty. When you've done all these things, valuable ideas will start flowing out of your mind. Success is doing, not wishing.
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Tom Hopkins International
7531 E. 2nd St., Scottsdale, AZ 85251
Tel: (480) 949-0786 or 800/528-0446 Fax: (480) 949-1590
Visit our website for a great "Tip of the Day"

Posted 5/02/2004 by Josh Hinds

END
By Dr. Rhonda Hull

The journey is NOW.
Every end is just a new beginning.
Make living your life more
than just making a living.
Realize love is the answer
to every question.

Although my dad taught me almost everything I know about life through his love for cars, it was my mom who provided me with my most essential message for happier living by being with her through her final journey.

A RIGHT WAY, A WRONG WAY, AND LYDIA'S WAY

My mom was an amazing businesswoman. She was driven, and throughout her entire life she had measured her worth by her accomplishments. She was beautiful, powerful, generous, and one of the most organized women I have ever known. She was an independent woman before her time, and would often remind us, "There's a right way, a wrong way, and Lydia's way."

She was a working mom when most weren't. My grandmother lived with us to make it possible for my mom and dad to invest whatever hours necessary to run their own business. They were raised by the Great Depression code-of-lack and had a survival work ethic. Wanting the material comforts for us that they never knew motivated them to push their limits. Providing us with 'things' helped calm their feelings of guilt and became their form of compensation for their absence.

Without a doubt, I knew my parents loved me, but still I missed their emotional and physical availability. To express this directly, however, would be misinterpreted as ingratitude for their sacrifices and efforts. Instead, I maintained a silent longing for their undivided attention, and a feeling of sadness for our mutual loss.

LIFE GOES ON

We all adapted and life went on. We settled for time together here and there. Although my sister and I, with my parents, would enjoy weekend get-away - time in the desert riding go-carts and motorcycles, much of our family time was overshadowed with my parent's discussions about work.

When they weren't discussing business they were just flat out exhausted. The pressures of their life left them with little emotional resilience. Even with the best of intentions their actions didn't always follow their words, and promises to us were often broken because business demands regularly took priority.

My mom was dedicated. She worked with greater stamina than any twelve men put together. She was the master at management, juggling the books, hand-posting ledgers, and always magically had whatever you needed in a file box somewhere. Considering how labor-intensive her efforts were prior to the advent of computers, her endurance was especially amazing.

The message I got was that work was more important. To cope with the pressures of her 'workaholism,' the accumulative impact of her stress, and her smoking habit since she was barely a teen, my mom maintained her composure with alcohol, or so she thought. Her abuses often made her inaccessible even when her tired body was sitting right before me.

Her expectations of herself were unrealistic. Feeling the momentum and responsibility of the business they had started, it was hard for her to slow down. My mom truly was a model of strength with a huge heart of good intentions. Even though her body wore out, it was her heart that finally took her life.

THE END OF THE ROAD

Eighteen months after my dad passed away my mom had her final heart attack. I will be forever grateful to my sister, Debbie. It was because of her nursing expertise that we were able to bring my mom home from the hospital to spend what was to be the last two weeks of her life.

Each moment of these last few days were an amazing paradox of highly accelerated time that seemed to move in slow motion. My mom shared this time with her grandkids, celebrated her last Mother's Day with us, told jokes, fed her dogs snacks they shouldn't eat, and cleaned up a lifetime of unfinished personal business knowing her time was limited.

It truly was the most profound two weeks of my life, and I am sure the most remarkable two weeks of hers. During this brief time my mom dissolved and let go of years and years of worry. Her final gift to me was our mutual discovery of the power of the present moment and the importance of now.

AM I COMING OR GOING?

"Rhondie, am I coming or going?" she asked in one particular quiet moment in the wee hours of the morning when it was my turn to sit by her bedside in case she needed anything. "That's up to you mom," I responded. "If you feel ready, we are all right here. What's holding you here?" I asked.

"I don't have my taxes filed yet, but what else is new?" she joked. Then after a long pause she shared her more genuine concern. "I told Dana I would come to her high school graduation next month." This clearly was her priority and it was one promise she wanted to keep. "Don't worry about the taxes, mom. We'll take care of that," I assured her. "Forget Uncle Sam," she said, "but make sure that Dana knows I'll be at her graduation with or without my body," she declared in her determined way. We just sat there holding hands, and the stillness of the early morning was accentuated by our silence as dark gradually turned to light.

THE PAST DOESN'T MATTER

It seems odd that with all of my training in counseling and psychology it was me, not my mom, who felt compelled to rehash the past. Feeling a sense of urgency, I believed I must understand in order to make amends. With little breath to spare, she insisted on telling me, "The best way to interrupt a miracle is to insist on understanding before forgiving. Life's too short for that. It's all behind us now" I had never heard such wisdom and sharp clarity from her until NOW.

In response to my attempts during those final days to discuss the past, she would say, "Although I regret the past wasn't different, NOW is all we have, and I don't know how much NOW I have left. Let's not waste it. Be here and present with me right NOW." And so I would, knowing the past didn't really matter anymore, and probably never did.

THE FUTURE DOESN'T MATTER EITHER

During these final two weeks there were times when I would express my sadness to my mom that she would not be able to attend my youngest daughter's graduation, or their weddings, or the birth of her great-grandkids, or just be there when I needed her comforting ear.

"I'm sorry I won't be there, too," she would say, "at least not with my body." And, then with a humorous twinkle she added, "But, you can't get rid of me that easily." With unusual insight and sometimes startling humor she would guide me back to the present moment. She would remind me, "NOW is all I have, so don't waste my NOW asking me to be concerned about the past or the future. Be here present with me right NOW." And so I would, knowing that the future didn't really matter, either.

NOW matters, NOW is where happiness is In these final moments my mom was teaching me the lessons of a lifetime that somehow made up for all the time I perceived as lost. What we learned together is that all that really matters is the quality of NOW. Life is just one moment after another, one NOW after another. How will we spend them? When we choose to sit in the driver's seat of life fully in the NOW, happiness is ours in that instant, every instant.

Death and birth are monumental moments in our lives. They are remarkably similar in their process. Both involve a transition. Both call forth the opportunity to be who we really are. Both invite great courage, deep faith, and the opportunity to dance with our fears. They bring into play an odd sense of humor, as well as an opportunity for forgiving, and for receiving optimum love and acceptance.

I saw my mom travel several times to the threshold of her passing, and then retreat back to spend a few more days or hours with us. "This time was only a dress rehearsal," she would joke.

With each rally, she traveled ahead again knowing she was approaching her final REST AREA. We encircled her as she declared, "I'm just so tired." I asked if she wanted to rest, and she nodded in affirmation. We leaned her back in her bed, and with her head on my shoulder and my arm around her I had the honor of having her last moment of NOW be spent in my arms. I will never forget those two weeks of one present moment after another.

THE PRESENT IS THE GIFT

This final present moment was the present, the gift. It gave me the assurance that any of the hurts, misunderstandings, or mistakes of the past-hers or mine-were dissolved by pure and unconditional love. We now were free of a lot of baggage. The past and future were moot. We could finally travel lighthearted.

Forgiveness allows us to return to the present moment and sets us free. It's a moment-by-moment choice.

During her conscious dying process, my mom never wished once that she had spent more time at the office. The significance of her accomplishments were transformed and placed in perspective by what seemed genuinely more important. If she had any regrets to heal, it was that she had not prioritized her time along the way with the ones she loved and who loved her in return. She waited until the last moments to awaken to the present moment as her most precious resource. But, now she was awake.

My mother taught me in those conscious moments that NOW can heal all the missed opportunities in an instant. What she held as so important throughout her life, she discovered really wasn't, and what is most important became a profoundly precious priority.

Though short when counted in seconds, the wisdom shared in those final days of her life reflected what her life was really all about. Her love was shown as timeless, lasting, and unforgettable. Living as fully and consciously as we can in the present moment will fuel us with gratitude, the energy for our soul's journey. Living in the present moment we will find assurance that our journey will be purposeful and powerful, and both the journey and the end of the road will bring us happiness regardless of our circumstances.

* Excerpt from Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering Through Life.
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As a professional speaker, happiness mentor, and author of "Drive Yourself Happy", let Dr. Rhonda Hull act as your 'life driving instructor' assisting you as you maneuver the road to personal balance, professional success, and authentic happiness. Rhonda has what it takes to guide you on your journey, making even the potholes along the way a valuable part of the adventure. Visit her at http://www.driveyourselfhappy.com